The Lonely Shadows

            It was chill morning in the hilly town of Gangtok. Drizzling but I could still here birds chirping. It's 0510 hours and my cell phone rings, I receive the call of the driver who has arrived at the inspection bungalow. My home form last 4 days. I went downstairs to direct him towards the parking space. Crisply dressed in combat uniform, the driver as well as the co driver greeted me with a salute. Unaware that I am yet to be commissioned and still just an officer trainee of the Indian Army but as a norm I greeted them back with a Jai Hind.

            I told them to wait for me as our departing time form Gangtok to the Bagdogra Airport was 0530 hours. I took  shower, wore clean set of cloths, picked my bag and bid adieu to my family members who were still there for next one day.

            Awkward silence in the military jeep. After some time the two soldiers somehow realized that I might not be a person of that stature and probably, just a relative of some high ranking army officer. A happy go lucky youth enjoying the amenities of military. Finally, I broke the ice by asking about the formation of their organization present in Gangtok and I was briefed about it. In return, I was asked about my flight timings and what work I do. 

 

            I am an officer trainee in the Indian Army. The two soldiers herd it right and regain their steadiness. The nervousness was quite visible on their face. I wasn't expecting that at all. So, I tried to ease the air inside the vehicle by asking more about their deployment at the Indo-China border & after sometime the smile and the ease returned. It worked. I don't support the high hierarchy system in the forces. The free environment is my thing and trust me it works well  always and every time provided if I have the mentally sound people above and below me.    

       
            We took a halt at a small dhaba shop which had nothing of my interest but the driver wanted to have breakfast. I just ventured around and saw bottles of liquor displayed on the shelves of that small dhaba. Fuck yes ! That's fucking chilled beer and breezer.

            This has happened with me before too and happens always. Whenever I am alone or away from my family I tend to buy a can of beer or a bottle of light liquor just for the sake of buying it. It's as casual as buying a pen from a stationary shop. With no delay I bought a bottle of chilled Jamaican breezer. I had not had the taste of Jamaican breezer since long and then I saw the watch , It was just 0730 hours and I was about to have alcohol as my breakfast. Never mind, I enjoyed it.  

    
            After 2 hours or so I reached Bagdogra airport. The 2 soldiers greeted me and drove way back to Gangtok. The moment I entered the airport lobby. I was told by a flight attendant of the airline that the flight is late by 1 hour 15 minute and will depart by 1250 hours. I, dumbass still induced with the time crunch schedule theory in my head had already reached airport by 0930 hours. There was enough time for me to wander and use my hollow mind. Fairly irritated after experiencing the humidity and heat of Siliguri town on the way that too after coming back from Gangtok which was heaven in terms of climate. I was under discomfort thanks to my gastric problem triggered by the Tibetan and Sikkim's cuisine I was feasting on from the last three days. I went to the washroom but came out running almost out of breath because of the pathetic scent coming out of the dirty washroom. I decided I will control till Delhi's airport or use the one in the aircraft.     

            I sighted a 3 chair bench in the corner of the terminal which was already occupied by 2 men. Hoping that the fair guy with light brown beard sitting in the middle won't object my occupancy on the last vacant seat, as it might be already occupied by one of his pals. I advanced towards the bench and sat comfortably. Nobody objected. It was actually vacant.

            Okay! what to do ? Took out my cell phone. No new messages/notifications//quora. No, nothing to do and 3 hours more to kill. The cell phone rings, it was of the fair guy sitting beside me. I heard his conversation a bit. There was pain in his voice and he didn't want to talk much. He informed the person on the other side of the call that his father  expired the last night and he was heading home for the last rites.   

            This also gave me a shocker and I came back to the reality form the bubble which was just recently built in which i was dreaming, complaining, flying and what not. I was no one to react to it but I wanted to do something about it. I started observing that person. Hardly in his mid 20s almost of my age. Must be in some college doing his masters enjoying his hostel life till last night with girlfriends and mates. His world must have turned upside down after getting the call at 0200 hours saying 'Your father is dead'. What could a hostel student could do at 0200 hours after hearing the news of his father's death. 1000 miles away from home and family, alone. Every second after that would have been like sharp pins being injected in and out on your body simultaneously  with the ticking of second hand of the clock. You are alive & sound but you cannot do much about your mother who has just become a widow and moaning miles away from here. You are in your hostel room, shocked, helpless, hopeless and sad. It's difficult to cry from men and at that moment it's difficult to even move a muscle.       

     

            I could see all that on his face. How he was trying to hide it all but then it's not possible every time. he takes out his handkerchief and cover his face with it, wiped the tears. The tears started rolling down again and the handkerchief was not much of a help. I could see his eyes, it was red and the sorrow was deep filled with tears.        

             It was a sentimental moment for me too, I was moved and felt sad for that guy. Should I console or let him be alone in his private moments. Who am I anyway to intrude into his privacy and trying to help which won't have much effect on his situation. I thought of bringing him water but he was already having a bottle of it in his hand baggage.       

            That man had all the resources and hell lot of people around but he was the loneliest and most helpless living thing in that airport at that time. Even I had stopped myself to help him.     

      

            Next moment, he got up and took his baggage along for check in and he went away. I cursed myself that I couldn't do anything it. I didn't even initiate the consoling shit. What the fuck was wrong with me? These things will haunt me for some time. Shit happens and sometimes you cannot do much about that shit. You are alone in this universe and you cannot change it. Mostly life is lived in moments which can be cherished or cursed but in all we live alone.